Winter in Iowa...
60 above zero:
Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Cedar Rapids sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Des Moines gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0
People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Iowa start saying..."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Mason city public schools will open 2 hours late.